urlesque:

This guy is all, “I don’t do mornings.”

From the Museum of Bad Art, Blue People Collection.

Source: museumofbadart.org

Man, I hate bein’ an internet dude (lady). All these paradoxes be drivin’ me crazy.

My life is the way i am it! 

via: openbook.org

Sleep by Emmy C

If you want endless delight and also poop jokes, you should really be reading Three Word Phrase. (it also can help you learn, if the things it references were not things you knew about before!)

I’m about halfway through 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth. I love this book, I love the Oatmeal, and I love this picture of a bear trying to fool me into petting him. 

I’m not fooled by you, Bear. 

Source: thingsbearslove.com

I almost never reblog Simpsons stuff, because there’s just so much of it and I feel like I look at it all - but I had to reblog this one because “possibleye” has affected my everyday lexicon more than any other Simpsons reference (save, perhaps, for SMRT).

Source: sufferbus

Gum Manufacturers Take Note - This Sucks

Me: gum?

AM: i’m chewing gum. fruity gum. blugh.

Me: want some minty gum? i hate fruit gum

AM: meh, i’ll just chew this i bought it by accident it was green.

Me: aw man

AM: green usually means mint

Me: sometimes it means green apple. or pineapple. they fuck with you.

An honest look at your Twitter account via someecards.

Amazing.

I accidentally googled “google images” instead of clicking on “images” from the google landing page. The results yield this image.

Google bot is angry! You have googled incorrectly!

Just watched the documentary “My Kid Could Paint That”. To me, all the supposed “controversy” is irrelevant. These works (which yes, I believe she painted) are simply stunning. The art, like most things of value, speaks for itself.

(Also, Netflix, I genuinely <3 you. Thanks for shattering my productivity!)

I Should Clarify Something

In regards to my last post:

I love Cee Lo Green and I love the original song. And I love muppets, so much that I actually own a muppet of myself. And I have nothing against Gwyneth Paltrow, except that her name is hard to spell and her newsletter is silly.

But that performance, which mashes Cee Lo in crazy body armour (with feathers!) while muppets sing backup and Gwynnie (admirably) prances around in, like, four foot high heels, is unjustifiably insane. Why did these things get mashed together? Whose idea was it? I’m still not even sure why there’s a censored version of that song. (Remember, “Forget You” actually was released as a radio edit before the whole Glee thing blew up. I don’t really know why. It was massively popular the first day it was released. I listened to it like 40 times in a row. I think we could’ve lived with only hearing it on YouTube or satellite radio or something.)

When you take all these things which I really like (/don’t really mind or care about), and mash them together, you get some crazy-ass performance that I don’t really understand.

Also in the interest of full disclosure, I did not watch the Grammys. That may very well have been the highlight of the show.

Cee Lo’s Muppet Costume

Perfect. Thanks for the clarification, Know Your Meme. Now I at least know who to blame. Cee Lo, next time you have the idea to wear a full suit of body armour and feathers, I beg you to look back at this performance and remember how awesome this song was when it was just text-on-screen.

Although I can’t blame you for trying. Muppets are pretty awesome.

How is it that I never heard about Swedish Chef Google?

An Informal Letter to Facebook

Hey Facebook. How’s it going. Notice you’ve made some changes to the profile page. That’s okay, I like change. Change is good. But let me give you some advice, Facebook. Not as a user, but as someone with a Philosophy degree.

Your favourite quote is not a “philosophy”, Facebook. Neither are your religious views, political views, or opinions on cheesy snack stuffs. 

phi·los·o·phy

1. the rational investigation of the truths and principles of being, knowledge, or conduct.
2. any of the three branches, namely natural philosophy, moral philosophy, and metaphysical philosophy, that are accepted as composing this study.
3. a system of philosophical doctrine: the philosophy of Spinoza.
4. the critical study of the basic principles and concepts of a particular branch of knowledge, esp. with a view to improving or reconstituting them: the philosophy of science.
5. a system of principles for guidance in practical affairs.  http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Philosophy

Stop perpetuating the misuse of a term that has a very specific meaning and is actually a field of study. You wouldn’t arbitrarily stick “Mathematics” as a header on people’s favourite movies, would you?

Stop it. Stop it now.

Thanks.