After The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” came The 8th Habit”

In 2010 I tweeted a very long string of fake advice book titles and I actually love them all so I compiled them here in one list. (I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that I love them, obviously I find myself very funny.)

  • 3 Habits to a Better Bagel”
  • 6 Ways to Enjoy Your Sudoku”
  • 11 Steps to Feeling Great about Inactivity”
  • 47 Easy and Effective Ways to Ride an Elevator”
  • 11 Habits for Effectively Building Pillow Forts”
  • 14 Habits of the Professional Bubble Bather: From Effectiveness to Greatness”
  • 20 Good Habits to Have While Sleeping”
  • So You Think You Have Good Habits”
  • The 307 Steps to Effective Sponge Bathing: Loofas for Winners”
  • The Science Behind Progression: 11 Habits to Effectively Stand in a Fast Food Line”
  • 7 Habits to Effectively Colouring In the Lines”
  • 106 Ways To Utilize Zip Locks: Stay-fresh Advice”
  • 7 Keys to Improving Your Life Through Basic Magic: Card Tricks for Beginners”
  • 18 Ways To Activate Your Life By Watching Exercise Videos: The Key to Not-Doing”
  • Be the Glue: 21 Tips For Successful Scrapbookers”
  • 400 Ways To Feel About Your Toes: A Guide for Adolescents”
  • Toasters, Frisbees, Juiceboxes: 14 Ways to Ruin Your Hats”
  • My Kitten Is a Nuclear Physicist: 180 Ways To Trick Your Local Firemen”
  • Soap, Spoons and You: A Guide to Prison Whittling”
  • Piggie, Fatty, Doughboy, and other Nicknames for Your Fat Child”
  • Forgetting Why You Came Here: A Guide to Standing Awkwardly In Front of the Fridge”
  • 163 Ways to Type Your Feelings: A Guide to Online Dating”
  • Never Knowing How Far to Go: A Guide To Taking the Train While Blindfolded”
  • Up is Down: 63 Ways to Play Opposite Day”
  • 11 Spin Cycles: Things to Count While Doing Your Laundry”
  • Sometimes When We Touch: Avoiding Song Lyrics that Make You Uncomfortable”
  • Reciting Entire Movies From Memory, and Other Ways To Make Your Party Successful”
  • You Were Adopted: 46 Tips to Make Christmas More Exciting”
  • Stop Eating: A Common Sense Guide to Dieting”
  • Fluffernutter: 18 Helpful Methods For Avoiding Real Food”
  • Tethered Running and 73 Other Ways To Reinvent Gym Class”
  • Eating Things You Find on the Ground: Inappropriate Advice for Toddlers”
  • The Dao of Poop: 7 Habits of Highly Effective Shitters”

May 2, 2022