You Lack Bread

Stranger: You are in a room with exits north and south. There is a table with a piece of paper on it. What do you do?

You: doodle on the paper for a bit.

Stranger: You have no pen.

You: i always have a sharpie.

Stranger: You pull your trusty Sharpie out of your pocket and doodle some rabbits on the paper.

Stranger: The original writing is now obscured by fluffy tails.

You: cool. now i think i’ll take a nap.

Stranger: You lie down on the carpet and close your eyes.

You: snooze

Stranger: Time passes.

Stranger: Soon, you wake up, feeling well-rested, but sore.

You: i have to pee. is there a bathroom or a chamber pot or something around?

Stranger: You look around, but find nothing.

You: sigh. i guess i’ll go out the north exit in search of a toilet.

Stranger: You walk through north exit. Inside, you find a fridge with a toaster duct-taped to the side.

You: sweet! does it make toast?

Stranger: The toaster appears to work.

You: awesome. then i’ll play with it by shooting the toast across the room.

Stranger: You lack bread. However, to amuse yourself, you press the lever and listen as it springs up.

You: why do i always lack bread? dammit, i knew i should’ve got some when i was at the store.

Stranger: Well, when we knocked you out and brought you here, we took away all bread you had.

You: you bastards.

You: is there any food in the fridge?

Stranger: Inside the fridge, you find some bread, a stick of butter, and a frozen leprechaun.

You: SO I DON’T LACK BREAD AFTER ALL.

Stranger: Well, now you don’t.

You: i’ll make a leprechaun sandwich on toast.

Stranger: You toast the bread and place the leprechaun in between the slices.

Stranger: Leprechaun sandwich had been added to INVENTORY.

December 9, 2010

Driven by Cheese