After “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” came “The 8th Habit”

In 2010 I tweeted a very long string of fake advice book titles and I actually love them all so I compiled them here in one list. (I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that I love them, obviously I find myself very funny.)

• “3 Habits to a Better Bagel”
• “6 Ways to Enjoy Your Sudoku”
• “11 Steps to Feeling Great about Inactivity”
• “47 Easy and Effective Ways to Ride an Elevator”
• “11 Habits for Effectively Building Pillow Forts”
• “14 Habits of the Professional Bubble Bather: From Effectiveness to Greatness”
• “20 Good Habits to Have While Sleeping”
• “So You Think You Have Good Habits”
• “The 307 Steps to Effective Sponge Bathing: Loofas for Winners”
• “The Science Behind Progression: 11 Habits to Effectively Stand in a Fast Food Line”
• “7 Habits to Effectively Colouring In the Lines”
• “106 Ways To Utilize Zip Locks: Stay-fresh Advice”
• “7 Keys to Improving Your Life Through Basic Magic: Card Tricks for Beginners”
• “18 Ways To Activate Your Life By Watching Exercise Videos: The Key to Not-Doing”
• “Be the Glue: 21 Tips For Successful Scrapbookers”
• “400 Ways To Feel About Your Toes: A Guide for Adolescents”
• “Toasters, Frisbees, Juiceboxes: 14 Ways to Ruin Your Hats”
• “My Kitten Is a Nuclear Physicist: 180 Ways To Trick Your Local Firemen”
• “Soap, Spoons and You: A Guide to Prison Whittling”
• “Piggie, Fatty, Doughboy, and other Nicknames for Your Fat Child”
• “Forgetting Why You Came Here: A Guide to Standing Awkwardly In Front of the Fridge”
• “163 Ways to Type Your Feelings: A Guide to Online Dating”
• “Never Knowing How Far to Go: A Guide To Taking the Train While Blindfolded”
• “Up is Down: 63 Ways to Play Opposite Day”
• “11 Spin Cycles: Things to Count While Doing Your Laundry”
• “Sometimes When We Touch: Avoiding Song Lyrics that Make You Uncomfortable”
• “Reciting Entire Movies From Memory, and Other Ways To Make Your Party Successful”
• “You Were Adopted: 46 Tips to Make Christmas More Exciting”
• “Stop Eating: A Common Sense Guide to Dieting”
• “Fluffernutter: 18 Helpful Methods For Avoiding Real Food”
• “Tethered Running and 73 Other Ways To Reinvent Gym Class”
• “Eating Things You Find on the Ground: Inappropriate Advice for Toddlers”
• “The Dao of Poop: 7 Habits of Highly Effective Shitters”

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