October 5, 2010

Disclosure: The information in this email is confidential. If its contents are disclosed our lawyers will swoop down from helicopters and smash through the skylight nearest you and drag you away with a black bag over your head. They will then take you to our super secret headquarters and make you fight to the death with other people who shared this email. We will then watch said death match and place bets on the winner. You will be given a large buck knife and an unlimited supply of methamphetamines. If the fight becomes boring or there is a stalemate, rabid dogs will be realsed into the arena to liven things up a bit. If the dogs become docile, we will squirt them with water bottles until they become temperamental.
Copyright 2010 DoucheSpeak Media

This disclousre makes me want a job at DoucheSpeak Media even more. 
If you do this in an email, I hate you - The Oatmeal

Source: theoatmeal.com


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